


Hindsight

by FireRyder



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Accidents, Amnesia, Angst, Angst and Feels, Couples Game, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Surgery, Worried Eddie Diaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:54:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24528718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireRyder/pseuds/FireRyder
Summary: As they say, hindsight is 20/20.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 78
Kudos: 398





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was requested to write a Buddie fic, and this was started before my other fic but it has taken me longer to get down.  
> I hope you enjoy it and all comments and kudos are appreciated.

Considering the sheer amount of accidents and trauma the team has been through in the past two -¾ nearly three - years, it probably should have registered with them that having a quiet shift is usually the precursor to an incident that gets one of them hurt, the not to metaphorical calm before a storm. However, as they say, hindsight is 20/20.

-

“What are you guys up to?” Buck speaks as he makes his way across the loft, handing Eddie one of the cups of coffee he carries with them before sitting down next to the man as he looks over to Hen, Chimney and Maddie, waiting for an answer.

His sister has the day off so she’s been hanging around the station with them for the best part of an hour, the lack of big calls requiring more than just the medical team meaning that there has always been someone for her to talk to while her boyfriend was out saving a life or patching somebody up after some incident or another; whether it was an injury caused by their own doing or someone else’s. The couple have been doing something on Maddie’s phone for a little while, and Hen joined them moments ago, her laughter and Chimney’s complaining drawing both Buck and Eddie’s attention.

He looks to his best friend when Hen starts laughing again and Chim just points at the phone in his girlfriend’s hand as if that answers Buck’s question.

Eddie shakes his head at the trio, rolling his eyes at the lack of explanation as he sips his coffee before finally answering Buck’s question. “They’re playing a couple’s quiz to pass the time, sort of like the Mr and Mrs quiz. Apparently, Chim isn’t doing as well as he thought he would while Maddie is basically wiping the floor with him.”

“What’s the Mr and Mrs quiz?” Buck frowns.

“You’ve never heard of it?” Hen, finally over her latest fit of the giggles at Chimney’s expense, sighs and sends Buck an incredulous look. “I don’t know why you not knowing popular culture stuff surprises me anymore.”

The young man glares at her playfully before turning his attention to his sister when she begins to explain.

“It’s a quiz that couple’s do to find out how well they know each other – it used to be a TV show but now it’s just something people usually do on their wedding day’s for a bit of fun.”

“But you’re not married to Chim,” Buck deadpan before frowning in suspicion at his sister. “You’re not getting married and haven’t told us, are you?”

Chim shakes his head, “We just thought it’d be something fun to pass the time but it’s not as fun as I thought it’d be.”

“Only because you’re losing.” Hen quips, making Maddie laugh and half-heartedly try to console her frustrated boyfriend.

“How do you lose?” Buck shrugs to himself. “Surely the questions aren’t that hard. You two have basically been living in each other’s pockets for ages, how is there still stuff you don’t know about the other?”

“Some stuff just doesn’t come up naturally in conversation,” Chim shoots back, a clear attempt at trying to defend himself after his apparent loss. “It’s not like you’d do any better, probably.”

“Obviously. But, he’s not dating anyone to play the game for. _You_ are.” Hen teases her best friend. “You’re _meant_ to know these things about your partner. You were only playing the easy version, anyway, so you definitely should have done better than you did.”

“Seriously?” Eddie laughs, nudging Chim with his boot. “Isn’t the easy round just naming the other’s likes and dislikes, and the really basic stuff?” When the older male nods, the group start laughing again at his expense.

Buck recovers quickly, nudging his best friend with his shoulder before placing his drink down as he sits forward and looks to Maddie. “Let’s hear these oh-so-hard questions.”

Chim sits up from where he was slouching into the cushions after his poor score, pointing at Buck with a smirk. “I bet you can’t do better than my score.”

The younger male considers it, glancing around at the faces of his friends before nodding to himself and meeting Chim’s gaze again. “How much?”

“$50?”

“I’m in.” Buck nods, seeing Maddie shaking her head at her boyfriend and brother’s antics as Hen rolls her eyes. “Who am I answering the questions about? And, what do I have to beat?”

“Well, Chim got six out of fifteen so all you have to do it get seven or more correct to win the bet,” Hen states, looking over Maddie’s shoulder as she scrolls up on her phone to apparently restart the quiz.

“Answer them about Eddie since you basically live in each other’s pockets most of the time too,” Chim smirks as he repeats the younger male's words back to him, watching as Buck deliberates before nodding in agreement that he’ll do it.

“Okay, so how do you play?” Buck taps his fingers against his thigh as he waits.

“Well, usually one partner answers the questions then the other does the quiz and it tells you how many you got right,” Maddie answers as she focuses on what she’s doing.

“Usually?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah, this one we played by answering the question aloud and the other person told us if we got it right or not. It’s just a list of questions we were reading from, not a proper app or game.” Buck and Eddie both nod before Maddie finally looks up at her brother. “You’re going to be answering for Eddie, so you have to answer what you think he’d say. Do you understand?”

Buck nods. “Yep, got it. Let’s do this.”

“Some of these are going to be a little obscure but I’m finding the same questions we used.” Maddie gives her brother an apologetic shrug which he waves off.

“It’s fine. What’s my first question?”

Hen leans over to read the first question. “What is his favourite colour?”

“Red,” Buck states straight away. “Not because it’s the stereotypical boy colour but because he says it reminds him strength and love – two of the things he values the most in his life.”

The others look to Eddie for confirmation on that, Hen adding the first tally to Buck’s score when the older man nods. The next few questions, concerning Eddie’s favourite movie, meal and whether he prefers cats or dogs, are also easily answered by Buck, Chim growing increasingly frustrated as Buck breezes through the first four questions.

“Question five, what is Eddie’s number one fear?”

Buck pauses, biting his bottom lip while glancing over at Eddie for a moment. When the older male nods, he takes a deep breath before turning back to the others to answer the question. “Not being enough for the people in his life to stay.”

He doesn’t explain this one, though, instead motioning for them to move onto the next question as he sits back against the cushions. Maddie and Hen nod, noting down his tally when Eddie nods in confirmation as he fiddles with his phone case in his lap, and look down to find the next question on the list. Buck sees Chim out of the corner of his eye watching him as he nudges Eddie’s thigh with his hand before leaving his hand there as he leans into his side so that Eddie knows he’s not going anywhere. It’s not a fully conscious decision to do this, though, he’s not embarrassed by it either once he realises what he’s done.

“Okay – umm – next question is, what is his favourite place in the world?”

Buck frowns, “Like a country or place in general?”

“We did general places, so let’s go with that.” Maddie shrugs, checking the screen to look for clarification before looking back at Buck for his answer.

He takes a few moments to think about it. They’ve talked about all kinds of different general places together throughout their time of knowing each other, however, Buck feels like he can’t honestly remember Eddie ever saying he had a particular preference towards any of them, but he knows he has to pick one.

“I’m going to go with here in LA, maybe his house if I have to be specific.” Buck shrugs, turning to Eddie to see if he got if right or not. Eddie prevented from answering as Chim jumps in, frowning in confusion at Buck.

“Why?”

He tips his head to one side as he thinks about it before shrugging again. “I don’t know, I just think that, while El Paso and Texas as a whole mean a lot to him because it’s where he grew up and started his own family, Los Angeles maybe means more because it was his fresh start with a new house, new job, new friend group, and all that.”

They all seem to soften at the sentiment behind the words, any confusion cleared up. He turns to face Eddie to see his reaction. He smiles, ducking his head when he sees Eddie looking at him already, the look in his eyes making Buck blush.

Eddie smiles, nudging Buck gently with his shoulder. “I hadn’t thought about it like that.”

“Was he right though?” Hen prompts the man.

He seems to think about it before slowly nodding. “I don’t think I have a favourite place but he makes a good point so I’d give him the point.”

Chim curses as he checks the score. “You’re already on 6 points. How are you getting all of these right?”

“Because I listen to the things people tell me about themselves, whether it’s big details or small ones?” Buck phrases it as a question but they all know he’s teasing his teammate.

The next question is about their first date which is more difficult to answer since they’re not dating each other, so they haven’t had a first date together to answer for, so he has to answer for Eddie’s actual first date. He gets it wrong, which he expected to happen.

“I couldn’t have answered that for you either.” Eddie smiles with a shrug.

“That’s because Buck doesn’t date.” Hen states.

“Yeah, we’re not 100% sure he’s actually done the whole proper first date thing before,” Chim adds, making Maddie frown at her boyfriend before shooting her brother a sympathetic look which he waves off.

“I have, although you guys kinda forced it on me, it just didn’t end well.”

Eddie makes an aborted noise under his breath as he realises what Buck is on about; he knew about that date but hadn’t known before now that it was his first proper, adult date.

“Oh yeah?” Hen smirks, sharing a look with Chim as they think back to what Buck terms as his 1.0 phase. “Didn’t she put out at the end of the date after all that effort you put in?”

“No,” Bobby’s voice from behind them makes the three on the other couch jump as Eddie and Buck chuckle. “He ended up having an emergency tracheostomy and being rushed to the hospital.”

“Seriously?” Maddie deadpan, turning to her brother.

He laughs, tipping his head back and tracing the scar to bring attention to it before righting his head. “What can I say? I’ve always had a penchant for acquiring injuries in sometimes questionable circumstances.”

“Tell me about it.” He hears Eddie mumble sarcastically under his breath, making him laugh and swat at his best friend in faux offence.

“What are you five up to anyway?” Bobby queries as he takes a seat on the arm of the couch that Hen, Maddie and Chim are sitting on.

“Maddie and Chim were doing a couples quiz, Chim sucks at it, and now him and Buck have a bet going that Buck can’t get a better score than Chimney here while answering the questions about Eddie since Buckaroo isn’t dating anyone.” Hen sums it all up quickly, smiling when she sees the amusement on Bobby’s face at the antics of his team.

“How many questions is this quiz?” Bobby asks, leaning over to see some of the questions on Maddie’s phone screen.

“Fifteen.” Chimney states.

“And, how many does Buck have to get right to beat Chim?”

“Seven or more beats Chim.” Maddie supplies the answer this time.

“How’s he doing?” Bobby looks to Hen this time since she’s clearly the scorekeeper for all of this, a scrap piece of paper supported by the book she had been reading before coming over to join the couple on the couches being used for the tally chart representing Buck’s score.

She glances down to check the score. “He’s scored six correct answers out of seven questions so far. There’s eight questions to go and he only needs to bet one right to win.”

Buck smiles, winking at Chim when he hears the older man huff in annoyance. Bobby shakes his head with a smile before motioning for them to continue while he watches proceedings from where he’s sitting.

“Question eight,” Maddie speaks, gaining Buck’s full attention before continuing with the question. “When is Eddie at his happiest?

Buck barely takes a second to think about it. “When he’s with Chris – that kid is enough to make anyone happy.”

Eddie smiles brightly at the last comment about his son, eternally happy about how much Buck and the others on the team love his son. He nods although Hen already seems to have known Buck was right by the look on Eddie’s face.

“That’s seven, right?” Buck sits up, his leg bouncing slightly as he waits impatiently for confirmation. When Hen nods, he turns his attention to Chim with a smirk, “So, I win the bet.”

“Yeah, yeah, rub it in why don’t you?” Chim mumbles as he stands up, trudging downstairs to get his wallet out of his locker to get the money how owes Buck. Bobby laughs at the other man’s dramatics before congratulating Buck for his win. Chim hands over the money when he gets back upstairs before reclaiming his seat next to his girlfriend.

“Are we going to finish the game or stop now?” Maddie looks around at the others before her gaze settles on Buck.

“I don’t mind continuing until the end,” He shrugs. “It’s not like we have anything pressing to do while we’re waiting around, all the chores have already been done.”

Hen and Chimney voice their agreement, while Bobby moves to sit on the couch with Buck and Eddie to get comfortable as it seems to be unanimously agreed to continue with the questions until Buck has done all fifteen.

“I’m curious to see how many he gets right in the end so, please continue.” Bobby voices his own opinion which makes the others nod in agreement, sharing his genuine curiosity to see just how well Buck can do.

“So, the next question we did was – what were your first impressions of each other?” Chimney leans over, reading off the screen after Maddie points out with her thumb which one comes next since they’re picking and choosing questions from a list instead of doing them one after the other.

“So, I have to answer Eddie’s first impression of me,” Buck mumbles to himself, before turning his head to look at his friend who looks at him with a raised eyebrow. They’ve talked about Eddie’s first experience of the station, touching briefly on why Buck behaved the way he did during their first shift together, but Eddie hasn’t explicitly told him what he thought of him at the time. After considering him for a moment, Buck turns back to Chim to answer his question. “He thought I was arrogant and insecure about my place on the team, which I was considering how my first year on the team went, and that I was acting out to stop you guys from forgetting about me or replacing me with him. He didn’t think I was a bad person, just unsure about how a new member of the team with qualifications like his would affect my place here.”

He sees Eddie shoot him an impressed look, the older man nodding to confirm that Buck got it pretty much spot on with his answer, before Bobby catches his attention.

“He might be ex-army, but he can’t read people like you, so you’d always have a place here with us.”

The man’s never-ending reassurance towards the younger male is still enough to make Buck duck his head as his cheeks redden, any type of praise still having that effect on him even after all this time. Maddie watches on fondly as her brother interacts with his pseudo father, before both her and Hen note down the tally mark and find the next question.

“Before you turn into a human tomato, let’s continue,” Hen announces, before locking eyes with Buck, pen at the ready since she seriously doubts he’s going to get this one wrong since she’d probably have a similar answer. “What would Eddie grab first in a fire? In the unfortunate event that ever happened to his place, of course.”

“Easy – he would grab Christopher.” Buck states, the protective look that crosses his face is missed by no one in the immediate vicinity.

Hen and Bobby, being parents, knew that that was more than likely the answer. They all know that Eddie would risk everything to save Chris, and so would Buck – something he more than proved during the tsunami all those months ago.

They do a cursory check with Eddie who gives them a thumbs up, although the look on his face makes it clear that the answer was pretty obvious and they all knew what it was going to be anyway.

Maddie scrolls to the next question, before grimacing slightly. “I don’t know if you’re going to get this considering you’re not in an actual relationship, but the next question is – where was your first kiss? So, for you, this question would be - where was Eddie’s first kiss?”

Buck seems to come to life after a second of thinking about it, a spark of mischief in his eyes as he smirks at Ahis best friend before regaling them with the story of Eddie’s very awkward first kiss that he had unknowingly told Buck while drunk. Eddie blushes, shoving a laughing Buck away from him when he finishes the story before trying to pinch his cheeks while teasing him.

“I hate that you remember that.” He grumbles as Buck tries to hug him like an octopus as an apology for sharing the funny story with the others.

“Blackmail material should never be forgotten – you’re lucky I was drunk enough to not think of recording it so they could hear all about through your own drunk rambling.” Buck smiles cheekily before turning to Hen to wait for the next question as she notes down the tally since it’s obviously right. “What’s next?”

“Let’s see how well you really know Eddie – how many times did he take his driving test before passing?” Chimney’s smirk says all Buck needs to know. He doesn’t think Buck will get this one; Hen doesn’t look like she has any faith in him getting it right either, going as far as to put her pen down for now, whereas Maddie and Bobby at least look like to him with some faith.

“Three times.” He holds up his hand to use his fingers to count off each attempt. “First time, he didn’t pass the parallel parking bit of the assessment. The second time, they failed him on the technicality that he didn’t use the mirrors enough because he doesn’t turn his head continuously like they seem to think everyone does – he swivels his eyes and keeps his focus on the road in case he needs to brake quickly for some reason. And, the third time, he made sure they could tell he was using the mirrors by exaggerating his movements to clearly show him glancing at the mirrors when necessary so they finally let him pass.”

“Wait, seriously?” Chim's jaw drops, looking to the other man for confirmation which Eddie distractedly gives him as he turns to Buck.

Frowning, he pokes the blonde in the ribs to get his attention. “How do you even know that? I’ve never told you about that.”

Buck smiles. “Remember when you invited me to go with you and Chris to Texas? For that family thing?” When Eddie nods, he goes on with his explanation. “One of your sisters, I think it was Sophia, decided to tell me some stories about you while I was helping your mom and you were distracted with the kids.”

“Of course she did, she’s annoying like that,” Eddie mumbles under his breath before turning his attention back to everyone else rolling his eyes when he sees that Hen and Chim are finding the story of his three attempts at his driving test funny, while Maddie is looking at her boyfriend with an exasperated expression.

“At least you got there in the end.” Bobby reaches across the back of the couch to pat his shoulder in commiseration. “Come on, guys, let’s finish this before we get sent out on another call.”

“Apparently, LA is being more safety conscious than usual today so calls have been few and far between for hours.” Chim pipes up before Maddie can move on to the next question.

Hen immediately starts swatting at him with her book. “Howard Han, you better not have jinxed us.”

Bobby clears his throat to get their attention before telling them to behave so Maddie can finish the game and they can find out the final score sooner rather than later. The woman gives him a gracious smile before finding the next couple of questions.

“What was the first meal Eddie cooked for you?”

Buck laughs. “He can’t cook so, knowing us and the likelihood that we hung out for the first time after getting off of a shift, we probably ordered pizza.” They take it as a right answer when Eddie shrugs and agrees with Buck that it’s probably true.

“What was the first movie you saw together?”

“The Batman Lego movie.” He shares an amused look with Eddie as they both think back to Christopher’s semi-obsession with the film, numerous movie nights consisting of them having to watch the film with him regardless of how many times they’d already seen it. Hen notes down the point without having to check with Eddie on that one, the look shared between the two men enough to clue her in that Buck was definitely right with that one.

“And, for our final question, what was the first trip you took together?” Maddie turns off the screen after reading the question, looking to Buck and awaiting his answer.

He doesn’t need long to think about it. “The Texas trip.”

Eddie hums in agreement. It’s not the only trip they’ve gone on together, or with Chris, but it was their first proper trip out of state. He sits up as Hen adds the last tally, smirking as he sees the number of tally lines drawn, indicating that Buck did pretty good. “So, he blew Chimney’s score out of the park by the looks of it.”

Hen picks up the paper to show them all. She’s even totalled up his points and circled the final number so it’s clear how he did.

“Fourteen out of fifteen.” Buck brightens. “See, Chim, those weren’t hard questions. I told you I could beat you.”

“Yeah, whatever. You’ve already taken my money, what more do you want? A gold star?” The older man shakes his head, nudging Maddie as if she’s going to jump in to defend his honour which doesn’t happen and just leaves him huffing like a child having a tantrum.

“Well done, Buck.” Bobby decides to jump in before they can start going back and forth again. “I knew you would beat him anyway.” He finishes, making the women and Eddie laugh as Buck smiles proudly.

Chim huffs with fond exasperation at the other members of the team. “Thanks, Cap, your faith in me is truly astounding.”

Now that the game is over, for now, he stands and makes his way across the loft to get a water bottle from the fridge, grabbing another for Maddie, before moving back towards them again. He hands Maddie her drink before sipping from his own from his position standing behind the couch the two women are seated on.

“Hey, Maddie, could you send me the link to that site or save it?” Eddie’s question draws the groups attention to him.

“Why? Are you thinking of doing it yourself, Diaz?” Chim asks.

“Well, I thought it would be a bit of fun for all of us when it gets slow around here,” Eddie shrugs, not giving in to the teasing Chim is practically itching to let loose on him. “But, I’m down to give it a go later on, although we all know I could also wipe the floor with that sucky score of yours.”

“Who would you answer the questions about?” Bobby raises an eyebrow before his features morph into realisation as Eddie glances at Buck. “Is this going to turn into a competition between you two? Who knows the other better?”

They look to each other before looking at Bobby with matching innocent grins and shrug at him. Neither of them had even thought about it until the older man had mentioned it.

“You’d have to use different questions then or it would be too easy,” Chim points out. “I mean, we’ve already given him one of the answers if we give him the same ones as Buck had.”

“That’s a fair point.” Hen joins in while Maddie voices her agreement with her boyfriend.

Buck finishes his drink, picking up Eddie’s empty cup as he gets up to wash them out, listening to the conversation as they discuss how they would go about making sure it’s still the same level of difficulty without using all of the same questions. Just as he tips the water out and places them in the sink to reach for the dishtowel, the alarm starts blaring as a speaker calls out the border that both fire and medical are needed. The team instantly scramble downstairs, calling out a quick goodbye to Maddie as they go, before shoving on their turnout gear and running to the trucks. Buck and Eddie climb in one after the other before the door slams shut and the truck rolls out, it’s own siren wailing over their heads as they slip on their headsets.

“What was it I said about jinxing us?” Hen comments, gripping the overhead handle as they manoeuvre through the busy LA streets, making Eddie and Buck laugh at the reminder of her comment to Chimney earlier.

“You know what-"

“Listen up, guys. Here’s what we’re facing.” Chim’s response is cut off by Bobby coming through their headsets, initially raising his voice to gain their attention before continuing at a more regular volume, having finally got some details about what they’re currently racing towards.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again for part 2!
> 
> As before, all comments and feedback is appreciated 😁

The team exchange looks as they pull up to their apparent destination, an old ranch that looks like it’s in the process of being converted into housing or a homestead, where there is evidence of construction and the removal of the trees that are still on the property scattered around. Buck and Eddie survey the scene around them as they jump down from the truck, muttering their observations to each other as they grab their bags and equipment from one of the compartments. 

Heavy machinery stand abandoned for the moment in the face of the incident they're responding to, though the operators of said heavy equipment are standing nearby to their machines. None of them are wearing high-vis clothing, and there is an apparent lack of any safety protocols in place to keep the workers on the site from injury. They can’t even see their victim yet and they’re already all dreading just how bad this could turn out to be.

According to what dispatch told Bobby, the caller was in clear distress and gave them little detail to work with aside from the address and that an injury had occurred before going against the advice of the 911 dispatcher that took the call and hanging up. As they make their way over to where a man is frantically waving for them, calling out that they need to follow him, Buck can’t help but think to himself about how this whole place seemed sketchy enough to be an accident waiting to happen, and he can tell by the looks on the other’s faces that they’re just as surprised as he is that they haven’t been called here before now for some mishap or another.

As they finally reach the reason for the call out, the team exhibit various reactions to what they’re seeing. In front of them, a large, industrial wood chipping machine stands over a steadily growing puddle as the frantic man that lead them over repeatedly begs them to do something while motioning to the source of the rich-smelling liquid; a male, mid-20s, is trapped in the feeder mechanism of the machine, the powerful machine seemingly crushing his leg. From their position, none of the team can tell if he’s deep enough to have reached the first set of blades, though, the amount of blood he’s lost seems to indicate that something may have been nicked alongside the obvious crush injury he’s obtained.

“Buck, Eddie-“ Bobby starts, recovering his composure quickly and entering work mode.

“On it, Cap,” They chime simultaneously, cutting him off. The two men don’t need more than a glance to know what they’re expected to do.

They grab their equipment, double-checking with the caller that the machine is completely shut down, before climbing the ladder to reach the platform on the machine. While they set up, Bobby issues Hen and Chimney their orders as he calls for another member of the crew to go back and retrieve the stretcher so that their victim can be placed on it as soon as he’s deemed stable by the two medics. 

They introduce themselves briefly to the man and reassure him that they’re firefighters, there to get him out so that their team can treat his injuries, before getting to work. Under the watchful gaze of their captain, Buck and Eddie work seamlessly together to extract the man in a timely fashion. Buck does the “heavy lifting” while Eddie works on the more detailed bits, his experience as an army medic coming in handy in moments like this.

“Hey, are you still with us?” Buck checks in with their patient as they round up the last of the technical bit and get ready to fully extract him from the workings of the machine.

“Y-yeah,” is the pain-strained, breathy reply he gets.

“How’d this happen?” Buck continues to prompt, trying to keep the man talking.

The man lets out a pained grunt as something shifts, prompting the two firefighters to issue apologies while reassuring him that it won’t be much longer. He takes a second to breathe through the pain before answering Buck’s question.

“It j-jammed,” He pauses to breathe through another pulse of pain as Eddie manoeuvres the plates apart, the last major thing that needs doing before they can work on carefully pulling him back onto a backboard, stem any bleeding quickly, before lowering their patient down to Chim and Hen for them to fully stabilise him for his trip to the hospital. “Turned it off and j-jumped in to d-dislodge it. Must be f-faulty because it moved as s-soon as I put pressure on the b-branch that was stuck. Pulled me d-down with it.”

Buck and Eddie grimace as they listen to the man’s story, eyeing the machine in suspicion when he mentions it having a possible fault. If the machine does have a fault, then the off switch on the control panel may not be enough to fully shut it off, which leaves them both hoping that when the other worker says he shut the machine down, he means he fully shut it down, not just pressed a button.

Buck glances at where Eddie is at in terms of progress, seeing the older man nod that everything is ready for the extraction, before addressing the man again. “Okay, I know how much this is going to hurt, but I promise we’re going to move as quickly and as safely as we can to get you out of here.”

When the man nods, the two firefighters shift into a better position and start the process of pulling the man back carefully, Buck taking over the moving part of the plan as Eddie quickly places gauze over the open wounds in the man’s flesh to temporarily stem the bleeding while they make the transfer from them to Hen and Chimney who are in position just below them, equipment at the ready.

-

“Good job, guys,” Bobby pats them both on the back once they jump down from the machine and join the rest of the crew on the ground, Hen and Chim already taking the patient away after doing their own assessment of his injuries and putting a more secure bandage on the wounds to hold a fresh set of gauze in place.

Buck smiles and brightens at the praise, turning to Eddie as Cap walks away and fist-bumping him in celebration of another successful call before they set about packing up their tools and equipment. Once everything is packed away in their bags, some of the other guys pick up the packed bags while the pair carry the larger tools and begin the walk back through the property to get it all back to the trucks, Buck and Eddie bringing up the rear after double-checking that they haven’t forgotten to pack anything.

“How long do you think before we get called out to this place again?” Eddie jokes, motioning around them to the area as a whole, drawing particular attention to the fact that the workers are already restarting equipment and manoeuvring the large vehicles around even though there are still way too many people milling around for it to be considered safe.

“Maybe someone else will get the call next time.” Buck shrugs. “This isn’t exactly in our usual patch, we were just the only house available when the call came in.”

Eddie nods at the reminder that this call would have been distributed to another team if they hadn’t already been held up dealing with another incident quite a distance away from this area. “Unless we get called in as backup for them.”

Buck laughs, agreeing that it’s still possible that they’ll be seeing this place again at some point. They pause walking and their conversation when they hear a commotion over by one of the JCB’s, spotting a guy shouting quick-fire Spanish at the operator of the vehicle who is responding in kind with a rant of his own, and Buck doesn’t need to know a lot of Spanish to know that there is a lot of insults and foul language being exchanged between the pair. The two firefighters exchange a glance, looking up ahead at the crew who have continued moving without acknowledging the ruckus taking place as they focus on getting everything back to the truck so they can move on to the next call, before making their way over to hopefully diffuse the situation.

Eddie initiates conversation as they get within hearing distance of the men, the only one of the pair that knows Spanish fluently enough to not exacerbate the situation, as Buck is a bit rusty after not having to use his knowledge of the language much since moving from South America. Instead, the blonde keeps an eye on the situation, hoping that they don’t kick off again since both Eddie and himself are way too close to the large vehicle if the operator just happened to knock the controls during his enraged waving around. He tenses when one of the guys raises his voice again while gesturing at the other, watching both guys closely, muscles coiled in the event that he needs to reach out to Eddie and pull him away from the pair and the heavy machinery. When he sees the JCB operators arm knock one of the controls in front of him, Buck reacts without second-guessing it, shoving Eddie and the other worker away from the machine just as the bucket jolts to life and swings around. He doesn’t make it out of the machine’s reach in time and feels the forced jolt through his body as the metal bucket pummels into him, the force throwing him easily before his body lands with a sickening thump a distance away as everyone in the immediate vicinity reacts to the turn of events.

His brain takes a second to process everything that just happened before the pain hits him, his ears ringing and vision dizzyingly distorted while his chest constricts as he tries to catch his next breath; the difficulty of the action cluing him in on the broken ribs he most certainly just sustained. He coughs, trying not to move around too much to lessen the pain and to prevent making the injuries he can feel worse than they already are, the thick liquid in his mouth bringing back memories of the incident in Bobby’s garden a year and a half ago. He shuts his eyes as nausea rolls his stomach, not helped by the lack of any clear picture of what’s going on around him. He tries to stay alert to his surroundings as it seems to come alive again, the world finally catching up, but the pull of sleep is so tempting to give into – if only to escape the overwhelming pain for a couple of minutes.

Just before his weak resolve gives in, he hears the voice of the man he’d sacrifice anything for, the emotionally torn voice of his best friend.

“Buck!”

He registers the feel of another hand slipping into his, reminiscent of the firetruck incident and of his own actions when Eddie got himself out of being buried 50ft under wet mud, and he squeezes back as much as his pain-tired muscles will allow him to as he hears the older male beg him to stay awake as more familiar voices belonging to his family, his team, join them and start asking questions to ascertain what just happened. Buck silently apologising to his best friend for not following his advice before he feels himself fall into the beckoning darkness, his awareness lasting long enough to hear the anguished noise that Eddie lets out as his grip slackens before nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part three!  
> Appreciate any and all feedback! ♥

Eddie blinks, pushing himself up as he tries to ascertain his bearings again and figure out what just happened. Beside him, the worker that had been standing near him next to the large vehicle is also picking himself up of off the floor, looking over at the JCB behind them before paling as his eyes widen. Eddie prays he’s not about to turn around and see what he thinks he’s about to before slowly turning over and sitting up, already hearing the rushed footfalls of his team coming back as people call out for them.

He almost lets out a whimper at the scene in front of him, flashbacks of the firetruck crushing his best friend coming to mind as he takes in what he’s seeing. Buck is down, some distance from the machine but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that, from the angle of the machine and the clean distance that leads to drag marks as momentum pushed the firefighter’s body further forward before coming to rest where he lies now, Buck has been hit by the bucket swinging round and throwing him through the air.

“Buck!” The call leaves his lips without him having full control over it, calling out to the motionless blonde in distant some hope that his voice will get a reaction from the younger man.

He scrambles to his feet as he sees the JCB operator crouch and begin to reach out to touch the fallen firefighter. He reaches out his arm as he quickly moves closer to the pair, too far away to keep the man from going through with the action but reaching out to stop him nonetheless. “No, don’t move him.”

The man looks up at the sound of Eddie’s voice before standing and backing away from Buck with his hands up, watching as Eddie drops down next to Buck’s prone form and grasps onto his hand desperately. He ignores the man’s questions as he focuses solely on Buck, not even acknowledging when the rest of their crew reach them and begin to assess the situation for themselves, Bobby’s voice in the background calling in the incident and requesting another ambulance to the site.

“Diaz, are you hurt anywhere?” One of the crew asks, trying to gain his attention.

“No – I’m fine. Please, you’ve gotta help him.” He pushes the hands away, knowing that they’re just doing their jobs even though it involves one of their own but wishing they’d get on with helping Buck instead of uselessly interrogating him.

They finally give up trying to get him to co-operate, deeming him perfectly healthy other than some minor scrapes from the unexpected meeting of himself with the gravel and dirt underfoot, and turn their attention to the patient that needs their help most. Nobody asks Eddie to get his head on straight and help out, writing him off as out of commission considering the circumstances and the close relationship between the two men, he’d never be able to fully focus.

“Buck,” Eddie whimpers, squeezing the blonde's hand as his other hand hovers unsurely in the air, not sure where he can touch without hurting his friend but wanting Buck to know he’s there. “Can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me… Please.” His eyes take in Buck’s condition, noting the blood around his lips suggesting that he was briefly conscious, aware enough to try and clear his airways by coughing, and the clearly laboured breathing indicates definite internal injuries affecting his lungs or rib cage, likely both, in some way. A twitch of the blonde’s other hand makes Eddie’s breath stutter, more hope building in his chest. “Stay awake, Buck. Stay with us, please.”

He briefly looks up, meeting Bobby’s worried gaze and nodding to the older man, hoping he understands that Eddie is reassuring that Buck is responding, his hand still in Buck’s grip. His attention snaps back to the younger male when he feels the grip in his hand tighten slightly from its lax hold, his eyes flicking from their joined hands to the blonde’s face and back again as he waits to see if it’s a sign that Buck is coming around fully.

He can’t control the sound that leaves his mouth as the grip on his hands goes completely slack, gripping Buck’s hands tighter as he hears the comments from the other trained medics in the team about the blonde’s stat’s beginning to crash. “Nononono, stay with us – please, don’t stop fighting.”

He sobs as there is no response from the blonde other than his stat’s continuing to lower, prompting the medics to get more frantic in whatever they’re doing, pushing him away as they roll the blonde over and begin to pull open his turnout coat and cut his undershirt to get to his chest. He tries to fight to stay by the blonde’s side but it’s no use as he gets dragged back by Bobby and one of the other guys, both men trying to get him to understand that he needs to stay back as the medics work on Buck. Bobby holds him as his legs give out and he ends up on the floor again as the siren from an ambulance finally registers through the fog of despair and panic that is clouding everything but Buck from his focus, watching as the EMS staff from the ambulance join the crew in trying to help Buck.

When the statement that the “patient is stable” finally leaves someone’s lips, it feels like Eddie is finally able to breathe again and he knows Bobby feels the same as he feels the older man slump with a quiet, relieved sigh behind him before he helps Eddie to his feet as they load Buck on to a backboard and gurney, strapping him down as they cover his nose and mouth with an oxygen mask. He feels Bobby push him forward to follow as they take Buck towards the ambulance which they brought further into the site than the 118 had, prompting him to glance at the older man.

“Go, Eddie. He needs you – I’ll call in one of the other guys to cover for you.”

“I-“ Eddie starts before giving up on words and hugging the man tight, saying the only thing that has been on repeat since he heard them rushing over to help Buck. “Thank you.”

With that said, he pulls away from the hug once Bobby pats his back before rushing after the gurney, only stopping briefly to shove off his turnout gear, wearing his uniform pants and black LAFD undershirt underneath, and put it in the truck to be taken back to the firehouse before jumping into the ambulance after his friend.

As they start moving, Eddie ignores the paramedic in the back of the ambulance with them that is going over all the necessary checks and paperwork and grabs Buck’s hand, holding tight, holding on to all the hope he has that Buck will be fine and on his feet again in no time. He leans down, resting his forehead against the blonde’s for a second before leaning over to press a kiss to the damp skin, the pain causing Buck’s body to sweat. He uses his free hand to brush some dirt from Buck’s cheek, before whispering the words that have been on his mind since he saw Buck lying virtually motionless on the ground.

“Stay with _me_ , Evan.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 4 - here we go!  
> As before, kudos and comments/feedback mean everything to me 😁

Silence.

That’s what Eddie hears as he sits in the waiting room in the hospital, waiting for news – good or bad.   
He had followed Buck from the ambulance, through the hospital doors and towards the inner corridors of the hospital, for as long as he could before he was pushed back, nurses directing him to go wait in the waiting room for news on his friend once they had had the time to assess and treat him. So, that’s what he’s done for what feels like forever. Waited.

When they show moments like this in movies, they never fully depict it correctly. The shock-induced deafness to your surroundings that only goes away when you hear that the person you’re there for is okay? They’ve got that down perfectly. But, the utter numbness, the lack of anything – any feeling, any noise? They never quite get that one right. There again, how can you depict something that you feel in this moment if you’ve never felt it? Lucky bastards, he thinks as he remembers all the other times he’s sat here waiting for news about one person in his life or another.

“Eddie?”

He finally lifts his head, seeing Maddie standing just in front of him with her hand reaching out, not touching him but hovering the air as if she was aiming to before changing her mind. Her tone indicates that she’s called him multiple times too. He acknowledges her with an attempted tight smile but he’s not sure how it comes across – not as intended if the look on her face is anything to go by. The rest of the team – Hen, Chimney, Bobby, and even Athena – are also nearby, not that he’d noticed before now.

She opens her mouth as if she’s going to speak, seeming to mentally go through a range of things she wants to say before finally deciding on something. “Can I hug you?”

He freezes, not expecting the question. He looks at her, truly takes her in, before nodding slightly as he realises that he really does want a hug. It’s not from the right Buckley but at least it’ll ground him to the present instead of letting him get swept away by his thoughts again, thinking of all the worst scenarios. She moves to kneel in front of him before opening her arms, waiting for him to meet her in the middle. He shuffles forward in the uncomfortable chair, hugging her carefully at first before tightening his hold on her when she holds him tightly.

“It’s my fault.” He whispers, feeling the tears building in his eyes which makes him tuck his face against her shoulder in hopes that nobody will notice.

“No, it’s not.” She states firmly. “It’s the operator's fault – if Buck hadn’t pushed you out of the way, it would have been you that got hit. And, whether you want to believe me or not, I can guarantee we’d still be in this situation, sitting here waiting for news, but with you in there and him probably wearing a hole in the floor with his pacing.”

He shakes his head. “I couldn’t help him.” He insists, feeling like there is still some blame on him for this situation, no matter what anyone says.

“You did your best, you all did, and now he’s here getting all the help he needs to get himself better and back out there looking for his next near-death experience.” Maddie once again refuses to let him take any blame.

“He knew you were there, that’s what counts. You were by his side through it all – you held his hand, just like with the truck, and talked to him so he didn’t feel alone. You helped – maybe not in the way you usually do, but you helped in a way that mattered to him.”

He breaks, sobbing quietly as everything just hits him at once. The pain of seeing Buck injured again, the fear as the team worked on him as his stats dropped momentarily, the guilt he felt for not being able to do anything but hold onto Buck’s hand and beg him to hold on, the relief when they reached the hospital. He finally breaks, letting himself cry for Buck – grieving the lack of news about his welfare.

“He’s going to be okay,” Maddie whispers, sniffling with her own tears in response to his. “He’s always fought so hard to get back to us – to you – and he won’t give up now, I just know it.”

He hears the shift from the others as footsteps stop not far from them, making him and Maddie pull away from each other to see what is happening. He swallows nervously when he sees the doctor, wiping his face quickly and biting his lip in anticipation as he silently prays for good news.

“Mr Buckley is, once again, a very lucky young man.” That sentence alone is enough for them all to let out a collective sigh of relief. “He sustained a few broken ribs, one of which punctured his right lung, and a mild concussion. The surgery to reinflate his lung was successful, and his ribs will be stabilised once we’re satisfied that there will be no complications with his lung’s recovery from surgery. He has considerable bruising to the affected area and to his arms from the impact with the ground but scans have shown that, other than the aforementioned injuries, he has no other breakages or fractures.”

Eddie tips his head back against the wall behind his chair in relief, tears falling down his cheeks again but he doesn’t care this time. Maddie moves to talk to the doctor about something – he’s not paying attention so he doesn’t know what it’s about – before he sees her glancing at him as he opens his eyes to see the same relief he’s feeling painted across the faces of everyone else.

The doctor goes on to address the rest of them as Maddie hovers by their side. “Mr Buckley has been placed in a private room to recover. I can unfortunately only allow two people to stay with him at this time, preferably family members as concussions can be tricky and cause confusion when patients awake to multiple people they’re not knowingly related to.”

“We understand,” Athena states, looking around the group. “Do you have an estimate for how long it’ll be before he wakes? And, when we’ll be able to visit him?”

“He will wake from the anesthesia in the next few hours but will likely still be woozy from pain killers and the effects of the anesthesia itself. By my estimate, in the next 24 hours, he’ll have regained enough of his faculties to hold a conversation without too much drowsiness. I’d feel more comfortable opening his visitor allowance up to friends by then.”

Athena nods to herself before looking around at the group. “Well, I suppose we can come back in the morning after getting a proper night’s rest, instead of taking up residence here for the night.”

Eddie nods, it’s sound logic no matter how much he knows he won’t be able to sleep properly until he sees Buck – awake and as fine as can be expected right now. However, before he can actually voice his agreement with the rest of them, Maddie shoots him a look before smiling kindly to the doctor.

“You said two people can stay with him, right?” When the doctor confirms that is what they said, Maddie continues. “Excellent, myself and Evan’s boyfriend will stay with him.”

Eddie tries not to show his shock, just so the doctor doesn’t pick up on Maddie’s lie, as the rest of the group clearly do the same as they glance quickly to him before agreeing all too easily with the older Buckley’s plan. He gets up, grabbing the bag someone must have brought him from his locker at the station that contains his clothes and jacket and mumbling a goodbye to the rest of the team, before following Maddie and the doctor to the room Buck has been put into. Once inside, he silently sinks into the chair next to Buck’s bedside, his breath shuddering as he takes in the stark bruising in front of him and relives the memory of how they got there. He doesn’t even realise that the doctor has left them to be alone with the younger Buckley until he feels Maddie’s palm land on his shoulder in reassurance.

“He’s okay.”

He nods, seeing Buck helping to dispel all of the negative thoughts and scenarios his brain has been steadily supplying him with since he saw Buck lying nearly motionless on the ground at the worksite. He looks to Maddie as she settles in the chair on the other side of Buck, seeming to not mind the machinery that sits between her and her brother.

“Why did you let me come with you?” He asks, needing to know. “Why did you lie to them for me?”

“Because you needed to see him.” She states, meeting his eyes across the bed between them. “You would never forgive yourself or stop blaming yourself until you saw him for yourself.”

“But, you didn’t have to lie?”

“I didn’t.” She raises an eyebrow at him. “Maybe this is exactly what you need for you both to get your heads out of your asses and admit that you became more than best friends a long time ago. Maybe, by the time the team get here tomorrow, it won’t be a lie.”

He opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, trying to come up with something to say before getting cut off by his phone quietly ringing in his pocket. Maddie motions for him to take the call, which he does but he only walks across the room, not wanting to let Buck out of sight right now.

“Hello?”

“Daddy,” He hears, and his heart sinks. Carla had kindly offered to stay with Chris for the night since Eddie had said that he couldn’t leave the hospital until he knew Buck was going to be okay. He had also told her to only tell his son the basics if he asked why Eddie hadn’t come home. But, even now, he doesn’t know what to say to his son.

“Hey, buddy,” He tries to come across happy for Chris. “Are you and Carla having a nice sleepover without me?”

“Daddy, Carla says Bucky got hurt,” Chris states, ignoring all of Eddie’s attempts to not have to talk about it yet.

“Is it true?”

“Yeah, buddy. It’s true.” He sighs, turning to face Buck and leaning against the wall as he looks at his best friend, sleeping off the anesthesia right now. “He’s sleeping right now, though.”

His heart aches as he hears the shuddering breaths of his son as he starts crying. “Is Bucky going to go away like Mommy did?”

He drops his head, wiping his eyes as his son’s sobs get to him. “No, Chris. I promise, Buck is staying right here with us, he’s not going away like mommy. If he’s up to it then you can come to see him tomorrow, so you can see for yourself that he’s going to be okay.”

Maddie sends him a sad look at the mention of Shannon, not needing to hear Christopher’s words to guess what Eddie is responding to.

“You promise I can see him?”

“Yes, Chris,” He nods to himself. “You can see him tomorrow when he wakes up.”

Chris sniffles again but accepts his father’s response, even though Eddie was careful not to promise him the visit since they don’t know what state Buck will be in when he wakes up, saying goodnight to him and asking him to say goodnight to Buck for him before ending the phone call. Eddie takes a deep breath as he puts his phone back in his pocket, watching Buck rest.

After reassuring himself once again that Buck is okay, he turns to Maddie. “Do you mind if I use the bathroom to change out of my uniform?” He motions to the little ensuite attached to the room.

“No, go ahead.” She reassures him. “I’ll keep an eye on this one for you.”

He gives her a weak smile at her attempt to lift his spirits slightly before getting his clothes from his duffel bag and taking them to the bathroom to quickly change. He catches a glance of himself in the mirror as he pulls his shirt on, and can't help but notice that his spark just isn’t there; it just doesn’t exist without Buck.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 5 - not long left now.  
> Kudos and comments are pretty much my lifeblood so all are wholeheartedly appreciated.

It’s too bright. That’s all that Buck can tell as his mind crawls its way out of the unending darkness he feels like he’s been surrounded by forever now. Way too bright. There’s also a _really_ annoying beeping that reminds him of his high school alarm clock, which he’s pretty sure he left in Pennsylvania way back when he left home. He blinks slowly, wishing his body would just co-operate and adjust to the light quicker so he could look around without feeling like he’s going to go blind.

As if his body finally gets the message his brain has been screaming since it emerged from the land of nothingness and darkness, his eyes finally adjust enough to let him see – even if he quickly learns that moving too fast is only going to result in dizziness and a serious case of nausea, although he internally reasons that the latter is may just be a reaction or side effect of the pain killers he can feel clouding his mind slightly, making his thoughts crawl around his mind like molasses.

He flexes his hand, feeling the warm, solid weight holding it down that tightens it’s own grip as he moves, rapid shuffling accompanying it.

“Buck?”

He turns slowly, trying not to aggravate his body into revolting against him, and smiles sluggishly at his sister. He’s incredibly glad to be propped up enough to see around him without too much manoeuvring necessary, not sure if he’d have been able to deal with the ordeal of sitting up more when he’s body seems determined to give him a hard time right now. His voice is rough from disuse, and barely loud enough for her to hear, but he makes it work “Hey, Mads.”

She breaks out into a grin, moving to fill a plastic cup from the water pitcher the nurses have placed on the table near the end of the bed and placing a straw in it so he can drink without it spilling on him. She holds it for him when his attempt to get his arms to co-operate with him ends in him almost covered in the drink as his grip is significantly lacking right now.

Once he’s hydrated and able to speak without the underlying feeling as if he’s been gargling rocks, he squeezes Maddie’s hand again as she slips her’s back into his grip.

“How are you?” She asks before visibly deciding that’s the wrong question to be asking him at the moment. “I mean, clearly not since you’re in hospital right now, but – are you in any pain? That’s what I meant to ask.”

He chuckles at her awkwardness, regretting it instantly when it makes his chest hurt and his head pulse angrily in protest. “I wasn’t really in any pain before you made me laugh.” He answers honestly, squeezing her hand reassuringly. “Stop worrying.”

She sighs with a reluctantly smile. “I should really get the doctor, or a nurse, at least. To let them know you’re awake so they can do whatever else they need to do before you’re allowed any more visitors than us.”

“Us?” He frowns.

Maddie nods, indicating with her head to the other side of his bed. Careful movement of his head brings his focus around to the other chair where, somehow having slept through their conversation so far, Eddie rests uncomfortably, his body slouched in a way that makes Buck internally wince in sympathy for the back and neck ache the other man is sure to have when he wakes up.

“Pretty sure he stayed awake most of the night, waiting for you to wake up. At least, that seemed like his plan from what I remember before I fell asleep too.” Maddie informs him as he turns his head back to her.

“That’s…” He trails off, unsure how he wants to finish that sentence.

“Nice of him?” Maddie offers to which he nods. “Yeah, he _really_ cares about you, Evan. Enough to stay by your bedside all night, and make promises to his kid that he might not have been able to keep, because of his blind faith and devotion to you.”

“Chris?” He tips his head back against the pillow, smiling in what he hopes is not a delirious fashion.

“Yeah, Christopher.” She nods with a smile of her own on her face. “Your little Superman, as you call him.”

He blushes, averting his eyes away from her and frowns as they land on all the equipment keeping note of his vitals. She follows his gaze and sighs again, patting his upper arm gently before standing and brushing her hands down her top to somewhat straighten any wrinkles in the material.

“I’m going to go let someone know you’re awake.” She motions towards the hallway behind her. “Do you need anything while I’m out? Something from the vending machine, maybe?”

“Mads,” He asks, his eyes watching the heart monitor as the line jumps and dives accordingly. “What happened to me?”

She freezes, paling as she looks at him. “What?”

“What happened to me?” He asks again, meeting her eyes and looking for reassurance and answers in her gaze. “Why am I in the hospital again?”

Her body language shifts completely, going from calm to on edge and anxious in a split second as his words ring out in the quiet room, and everything seems to go still as realisation sets in that all is not as it seems. But, before she can even say anything to answer his desperate questioning, another voice cuts; the words are dripping with so much nervousness and grief that Buck isn’t sure he’ll ever get over the sound of the absolute desolation in his best friend’s voice.

“You don’t remember?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was right - the story has ran away with me a little but I promise that I'll get it all done as soon as life allows me to.
> 
> In the meantime, here's part 6 😁
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated!
> 
> Thank you in advance 😉

Eddie scrambles up from his position, sitting on the floor across the corridor from Buck’s room with Maddie, when the doctor dealing with Buck’s case steps out of his room, shutting the door behind himself. Maddie grabs his hand in anticipation and Eddie finds himself gripping hers just as tightly in return, not sure if he’s ready to hear whatever the doctor is about to say.

“Is he okay?” Maddie asks, her voice shaking.

The doctor sighs, looking down at the file Eddie knows without confirmation contains Buck’s medical information and the details about this latest incident. “I would like to perform some test, and another CT scan, before I say anything for definite. However, his long term memory seems to be perfectly functional; he knows all of his own identification details, as well as your own, and can answer all the usual questions with only minor issues with the date because of the lapse of time while he was unconscious, so the problem looks to be in his short term memory – particularly the memories surrounding the accident – which is not unusual in concussion and head injury victims.”

Eddie asks the question he knows Maddie is probably thinking of after that explanation. “Will he recover the memories?”

The doctor gives him a tight smile. “I don’t want to jump to any conclusions here, the effects of memory loss are different for every patient with a concussion. Some recover their memories in their own time, some turn to therapies to eliminate the mental block so that they can process the ordeal they’ve been through.”

“And others?” Maddie prompts, gripping his hand tightly.

“I’ve seen cases of patients that never recover their memories of the incident.” The doctor admits, before motioning for them to wait. “This is more common in severely concussed patients, which is not the case for Mr Buckley, so I don’t believe this will be the case here.”

They nod, still gripping each other tightly but feeling some relief, Eddie feeling like some of the pressure that’s been there since he heard Buck asking his sister why he’s here right now is releasing in tiny increments.

They’re allowed to go back into the room, retaking their previous positions on either side of Buck, with the added permission to stay in the room when Buck goes off for his scan and tests. However, the pressure of Buck not remembering the incident when doubts he’ll ever forget it finally gets to him and prompts Eddie to eventually offer to get coffee from the hospital canteen. It’s not good quality coffee but it gets him out of the room for a while so he’ll put up with it, for now. Maddie and Buck clearly know what he’s doing but go along with it, waving him off when he offers to bring them something back too.

After taking a detour to the men’s room and then getting the aforementioned coffee, he goes outside for a couple of minutes, needing the fresh air. He leans against the brick wall a short distance from the sliding doors into the hospital, closing his eyes and tipping his head back as he just breaths, taking stock of the tension he’s still carrying and how tired he feels. He can feel the fatigue deep in his muscles but the dredges of adrenaline still rushing through his veins from the day before is just enough to not allow him to properly relax yet, although the memory of Buck going slack right in front of him is also haunting his mind.

Before he can get dragged down into that particular memory again, he hears the clicking of crutches shortly before a very familiar voice calls out from a little way away from him.

“Daddy!”

He lifts his head, opening his eyes quickly, and spotting his son making his way closer as fast as he can with Carla following behind while keeping an eye on him, prompting Eddie to meet him halfway and lift him into his arms, the scent of his son calming him in a way he didn’t know he needed right now. A reminder that at least one of the most important people in his life is okay, safe from any harm.

Chris hugs him back, his crutches digging into Eddie’s shoulder’s but he doesn’t care right now as he welcomes the feeling of his son in his arms. Although the boy has been a lot more vocal about not wanting to be held so much anymore because he’s “not a baby anymore”, he seems to understand that his dad needs this right now and holds onto Eddie for as long as the man needs before he places the boy down.

“Are we going to see Bucky?” Chris asks, the spark of excitement about seeing the other man clear to anyone.

“Yeah, of course, but I need to talk to you first,” Eddie responds, crouching to be eye level with his son. “It’s about Buck.”

Chris frowns, “Did he not wake up yet?”

“No, he’s awake,” Eddie reassures the boy before the growing glossiness in Christopher’s eyes turns into actual tears. “But, he’s hurting right now so we have to be careful with him. He hit his head too, so he’s a little dizzy right now and he’s having trouble remembering the accident, but I promise he’s going to okay.” He emphasises the last bit, using the phrase he knows Chris will recognise to reassure the boy.

Chris nods, trusting that his dad wouldn’t lie to him. “But, we can see him, right?”

Eddie reconfirms that they will visit Buck, but that they might have to wait a little while longer because he has some more tests to do first, which Chris accepts easily enough. He stands then, hugging Carla in greeting and thanks for the extra work she put in to look after Chris overnight for him, before leading the pair inside. He takes them to the right floor, peaking inside Buck’s room when he reaches it before opening the door wider for Chris and Carla to enter, frowning at Maddie in question since she’s alone in the room now.

“They just took him for his scan, and I was just about to text you to let you know but then I heard Chris.” She informs him as she stands from her seat, stretching tiredly before patting her pockets. “Do you mind if I take a breather of my own and call Chim to check in?”

Eddie waves her off. “We’ll be fine here, you do whatever you need to do and I’ll text you if I hear anything before you get back.”

“Thank you,” She hugs him briefly before stepping out of the room, leaving Eddie, Carla and Chris alone in the room.

Carla sets up the table from over Buck’s bed for Chris to do some colouring, producing a new colouring book from the boy’s bag that they must have picked up at some point in the last 24 hours, before turning her full attention to Eddie. She manoeuvres him to the other side of the room, presumably to talk to him about Buck without Chris hearing, and he ducks his head as she examines his features before tutting, patting his cheek affectionately.

“You don’t look like you got much sleep last night,” She comments, though he knows she means it in the nicest way possible.

He shrugs, “Not really, but I’ll be fine.”

She raises an eyebrow but decides not to push him about the subject, for now. Instead, she asks the question he’s been expecting from her since she arrived with Chris. “How bad is it?”

He doesn’t need clarification to know what she’s asking about. “He has a couple of broken ribs, a punctured lung, which he had surgery to reinflate, and a mild concussion. Definitely could have been a lot worse considering, but I think I speak for everyone when I say that him not being hurt at all is more preferable to this.”

She hums her agreement before bringing up the subject he’s been trying not to dwell on more than he has to.

“And, the memory issue you mentioned to Chris?”

“They think it might be an aftereffect from the concussion, which I know is possible but doesn’t make me feel any less anxious.” He rubs his face, with a tired groan before glancing at Chris to make sure he’sure he’s still thoroughly distracted. “His memory otherwise is completely intact, he just doesn’t remember the accident – even though I can’t get it out of my head.”

“Oh, Eddie,” Carla mumbles, bringing him into a tight hug as he feels his tight control slipping once again.

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” He murmurs, only just loud enough for her to hear him. “I want to – but I cant. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget it, and he can't even remember it.”

“I know, honey,” Carla reassures him, rubbing his back. “But, that boy is a fighter. If he can recover from everything else he’s been put through, then I have no doubt that he can beat this too.”

Eddie nods, stepping back from the hug and wiping his face quickly so that Christopher doesn’t see that he’s been crying. The last thing he wants to do is worry his son because of his own fears for the man that’s worked his way into both of their hearts – their Bucky.

No, he has to be strong and believe that Buck will be fine. He has to be.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me!  
> All kudos and comments are appreciated.  
> See you next time!
> 
> EDIT!!
> 
> \- Added a new ending to this chapter so, if you've already read this chapter then please just skip to the last few paragraphs.

Buck smiles instantly when he sees Christopher, happily colouring at the table, as soon as he is rolled back into the room after his scans and tests. The boy sends him a happy grin, rocking slightly in excitement when he looks up in interest at the newcomers to the room and spots Buck.

“Bucky!”

“Hey, Superman,” Buck greets him as he carefully moves from the wheelchair and gets comfortable on the bed again, careful not to jostle Chris from where he is sitting close to the table so he can colour.

The nurse, who Buck learnt during his trip to and from the scans is called Jessica, smiles fondly at the pair, checking the machines are reconnected properly as Eddie steps forward quickly to stabilise his son as the boy moves along the bed so that he can hug Buck. Buck hums happily as the boy’s weight comes to rest against him, hugging the boy back earnestly regardless of the twinges of pain in his abdomen that the boy’s happy squirming initiates.

“I didn’t get to hear about show-and-tell yesterday – how’d it go?” Buck asks as the boy sits back again. “Was Miss Flores impressed with Mickey?” He asks, referring to the hamster he convinced Eddie to let the boy have that they named after Mickey Mouse for some reason.

“Yep,” Chris grins. “She said he’s really cute and that I’m lucky to have a pet of my own.”

Eddie chuckles, sharing a look with Carla who also knows how they acquired the pet, before answering the boy. “Yeah, well, you’re a special kid. We knew you’d look after him.”

Chris nods happily, readily agreeing that he would take care of his pet since his dad and his Bucky brought the small animal for him.

“You have such a cute son,” Jessica remarks as she finishes her checks, not seeming to note the amused snort from Carla and the choked sound Eddie makes in the back of his throat.

“Oh – um,” Buck hesitates, blushing heavily as he ducks his head. He subtly glances at Eddie who shrugs slightly – knowing that this has happened before since Buck told him about it – before deciding to play it cool again, like every other time someone has seen he and Chris together and assumed they’re related. “Thanks.”

Jessica pats his shoulder very carefully before turning to leave, passing Maddie in the doorway who seems to have brought the army of visitors he’s been expecting to turn up at some point. Buck bites his lip awkwardly, glancing to Eddie who just meets his gaze before shaking his head with a smile; Eddie is comfortable enough in his own skin to be able to admit that the blonde curls and blue eyes that his son has is a very Buckley trait, vastly different to his own brown hair, and deep brown eyes.

“Buckaroo,” Athena states as she steps into the room with her husband, moving the blonde’s attention to her straight away. “What have I said about ending up in the hospital?”

He winces as the speech she gave him after he was last discharged comes to mind. “Not to do it.” 

She hums in confirmation, narrowing her eyes at him critically as she glances over the parts of him she can see for injuries other than the very obvious bruising.

“If it helps, I’m told that this wasn’t entirely my fault this time.” He tries to get out of the lecture he can already tell he’s going to hear a repeat of.

“It doesn’t,” She states before stepping closer to cup his cheek and kiss his forehead. “I’m glad you’re mostly okay, though.”

He smiles bashfully, squeezing her hand when she moves her hand from his cheek to grip his for a moment before letting go as she moves aside so that someone else can talk to him.

Hen and Chimney hug him carefully, joking with him briefly about the luck the blonde seems to have to always end up being the one injured and in the hospital again. It’s a fair observation so he’s willing to put up with the teasing – again. Bobby doesn’t come too close, instead, he sits by Buck’s legs and grips the blonde’s shin through the blanket – Buck takes it in his stride since he knows that Bobby struggles to see him injured, the pseudo-father-son relationship they have sometimes bringing up memories from the past that the older man doesn’t like to revisit too often. Buck grin at the other man to reassure him that he’s okay, before turning his attention to the conversation going on around him.

His head is still fuzzy, and the nausea is still present in the background but careful movements prevent it from becoming too troubling for now. He sits back against the pillows, watching his family interact; conversations flowing between everyone else while he sits back and lets it all wash over him, not even realising that it’s lulled him to sleep until he feels Christopher shift against him, the boy accidentally knocking him with his elbow.

Buck jolts with a bitten back groan of pain, using his opposite hand to shield his side from any further knocks by the boy while he recovers from the blow. He hears a quick shift before the pressure of Chris against his side is taken away while hands carefully come to rest on him.

“Buck, are you okay?” He hears the female voice and quickly identifies it as Hen.

He nods, opening his eyes from where he unconsciously scrunched them tighter shut in response to the pain to meet her worried glance, noticing that everyone seems to have moved around and gotten comfortable while he was asleep. “I’m good – it was just an accident.” He glances around, finding Christopher in his father’s arms, biting his lip guiltily, and smiles reassuringly at the boy.

“I’m sorry, Bucky,” Chris murmurs, gripping his dad’s shirt. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Buck carefully moves to sit up better against the mountain of pillows he fell asleep resting against, being extra vigilant not to show how much even the smallest movement is hurting him right now as his pain medication has worn off while he was sleeping. He nods at the boy’s apology, breathing through the new pangs of pain before replying.

“I know you didn’t – it’s okay.”

The boy looks unconvinced for a second, looking to his dad who eyes Buck critically. Buck meets Eddie’s glance, hoping the other man can read him right now as easily as he does out in the field and can tell that, although Buck is hurting, he doesn’t want Chris to worry about him because of a simple accident that the boy could not control. Eddie nods slowly to Buck before turning his attention back to Chris.

“Buck says it’s okay, so it’s okay.” He says, noticing that Chris seems to deliberate the level of truth in the statement before nodding his acceptance. “But, we still have to be careful right now.”

Chris agrees immediately before reaching out toward Buck on the bed again, asking if he can join the blonde and promising not to hurt him again. Eddie obliges, placing him carefully next to his partner, sharing a look with the blonde before sitting down on the edge of the bed by Buck’s legs, keeping a close eye on the pair which Buck can’t help but find endearing. Eddie takes his promise to have his back serious, even when they’re not on shift.

While the others go back to the quiet chatter they have apparently been having while he was asleep, Buck also sees Bobby out of the corner of his eye giving him a once over, looking for any more signs of pain that could point to an underlying injury that hasn’t been picked up yet, but he relaxes when Buck grins at him with a quick thumbs up.

Soon after, the doctor from earlier comes into the room, checking over notes while manoeuvring around the visitors in Buck's room without barely a glance at their positions around the room, indicating to Buck that the doctor more than likely came in at some point when he wasn’t awake. He tries not to shift with nerves; part of him is more than ready to hear whatever the doctor has to say, while another part of him isn’t sure he wants to know just in case it’s bad news.

-

"You're sure?" Buck asks again, wanting the guarantee of hearing the news again just to confirm he heard the doctor right.

Thankfully, the doctor is patient and willing to repeat his statement again for Buck's benefit. "We found no evidence of any pending long-term effects so, as your concussion heals, you're memories will return. You'll be fully cleared to work again once we're sure the concussion is no longer going to be a problem."

Buck nods to himself, smiling happily as the news properly sinks in, finally relaxing all the muscles that tensed up when the doctor walked in and then asked everyone to leave for a moment. The underlying anxiety that's been sitting on his chest from the moment he woke up and found out he'd been involved in an incident that he couldn't even remember has finally lifted, taking with it the fear of how any permanent memory issues would affect his ability to work. He'd probably have had to move to light duty again indefinitely or find another career. Neither of which he was looking forward to, at all.

"Thank you," He meets the doctors gaze, knowing that the relief is clear on his face. "Thank you so much."

The doctor smiles, shutting the folder in their hands before briefly squeezing Buck's shoulder. "I think you should be thanking God for this one, for once again pulling you through an incident with the bare minimum of possible injuries."

Buck lets out a breathless laugh, voicing his agreement, before the doctor leaves and Buck hears his family and friends being told that they can all go back in now. Maddie is one of the first ones through the door, reclaiming her seat and looking at his expectantly.

He waits for everyone to settle again before opening his mouth to tell them the news.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited last chapter.  
> Thanks to everyone that has read my work!  
> All comments have been/will be appreciated.
> 
> Thank you 🤗  
> Bye, for now!

"I thought I'd lost you," Eddie mumbles, watching Buck button the last couple buttons of his uniform shirt, taking in the near permanent smile that's been on the blonde's face since arriving for his first shift back. 

When Buck makes a querying noise, Eddie repeats himself again, louder. Not loud enough for the others to hear upstairs but loud enough that there's no way Buck doesn't hear him this time.

"When I saw you lying there - I thought I'd lost you."

Buck frowns, abandoning the buttons in favour of reaching out to Eddie, ducking his head to meet Eddie's downturned gaze. "Hey - I'm okay."

"But you almost wasn't," Eddie blurts out, everything he's been holding back finally coming to the surface. "Your vitals crashed right in front of me and I couldn't do anything. I had to sit back and watch our team save your life - again - because, seeing you there - I couldn't work on you. I'd never have been able to separate our relationship from the indifferent calmness needed to work on a patient." He pauses, feeling Buck's thumb rubbing gently against his pulse point as the blonde's hand rests on his shoulder. "I sat in that waiting room and prayed, Evan, because I really didn't know what else I could do."

"Eddie-"

"I didn't know what I was going to tell Christopher if you hadn't made it. He adores you and I couldn't bear the thought of breaking his heart again by telling him that he's lost someone else he loves-"

"Eddie-"

"I didn't even know how _I_ would cope with it, never mind how I was supposed to break the news to my son. Sitting in that waiting room with no idea what you were going through, if you were even going to be okay, made me realize that I couldn't do it without you." His breath is shaky as the fear, the devastation, he's been hiding from his son and everyone else makes its way to the surface. "I can't do any of this without you, Buck. You're a huge part of our lives and we can't lose you. I can't lose you-"

Eddie's words stumble to a halt as Buck seems to give up on getting his attention with words and uses another solution. It takes Eddie's brain a moment to catch up before he unfreezes and reaches out to cup the blonde's jaw with one hand as the other grips the back of Buck's neck, their lips syncing up easier than with anyone Eddie has ever kissed. As they part, they don't move far, their foreheads meeting as Eddie catches his breath under Buck's watchful gaze, both of the younger man's hands tight against the other man's hips to keep their whole bodies close.

"What was that for?"

Buck smiles, "It got you to stop talking, didn't it?"

"Buck-"

"Nope, time for you to listen." Buck cuts him off again with their now tried and true method, before squeezing Eddie's hips to make sure the man is paying attention. "I can't lose you either so when I saw the bucket of the JCB swinging towards you I just reacted, I didn't think about anything else other than getting you out of the way so you didn't get hurt. I knew there was a good chance I'd get hurt doing it but I did it anyway because I didn't know how I'd break the news to Chris that his dad was hurt right in front of me and I hadn't at least tried to stop it from happening. And, yes, I got hurt and it could have been way worse than it was, but you have to know by now that I'd do whatever it takes to keep you and Chris safe. I will always fight for you two - I will always fight to get back to you two as well. My memories are still a little foggy, yes, but I do remember why I did it. You can't lose me? Well I can't lose you either, so it looks like we're just going to have to deal with risking ourselves to stop the other from being hurt - which is almost definitely on brand for us already."

Eddie laughs, dropping his head to the space between Buck's neck and shoulder and breathing in Buck's scent as the younger man moves his arms to hug him back. "We're crazy."

"About each other? Apparently." Buck confirms before Eddie feels him kiss his head, holding on for however long Eddie needs him to.

They both know they haven't got long before someone will come looking for them or the bell will ring, but they're savouring the moment while they have it. Eddie moves his head to look at Buck, watching the younger man smile brightly at him in return, and suddenly the weight he's been carrying around for what feels like forever has lifted.

"We're okay?" Eddie whispers into the space between their faces as Buck leans closer to narrow it again.

"Yeah," The blonde nods, his breath skimming Eddie's lips as he speaks. "We're more than okay."

Their lips meet once more, nothing heated about it since they're both more than aware of their surroundings but with the contented feeling of coming home. After feeling lost for so long, Eddie realises that at some point he found a home in this man, a forever safe place that envelopes himself and his son with room to spare. 

After one last press of lips, they disentangle themselves and Buck moves back to his locker to grab his watch after finishing his buttons as Eddie moves to the door. He pauses at the doorway as a thought occurs to him, turning back to the blonde.

"Hey Buck," The younger man turns at the sound of his name, giving Eddie an inquiring look. "We've been dating this whole time."

He watches as the emotions cross Buck's face in response - confusion, contemplation, realisation, before landing on a mix between acceptance and amusement.

"I guess we have."

Eddie smiles, tapping against the doorway in thought before shrugging. "I guess that makes our pizza and video game night every Friday night, when Chris is with Abuela, a date night."

Buck ducks his head with a smile, pretending to be focusing on doing up the strap on his watch. "It would seem like it."

With a considering hum of thought, Eddie rocks back on his heels. "I look forward to our date tonight then."

He smiles in amusement at the blush his comment elicits before turning to head towards the stairs. Just before he reaches the stairs, Buck jogs up next to him and grabs his wrist gently to make him pause. He frowns in confusion, turning back to face the younger man.

"If we've been dating the entire time and acknowledged it now, does this mean I can officially call you my boyfriend now?"

With an amused huff of laughter, Eddie nods. "Yes - but you can be the one to deal with all the paperwork that Bobby is going to throw at us when the team finds out."

"You're okay with telling them?" Buck bites his lip, the spark of excitement clear in his eyes for Eddie to see.

"Pretty sure they're already expecting it - hell, Bobby probably already has the paperwork ready with just a date and signatures missing."

That gets a laugh out of the younger man before Eddie uses Buck's grip on his wrist to get the two of them moving again, seeing the team already eating breakfast at the table when the two of them reach the top of the stairs.

"You two having a good morning?" Hen asks when she sees them, taking note of the grip Buck still has on Eddie's wrist and the happy grin on the blonde's face as he lets Eddie guide him. She also notes the relaxed, content energy Eddie is giving off - a happy change from the usually carefully controlled calm he exudes.

Glancing over at Buck who brushes their shoulders together with a grin before joining the team at the table, he nods. "A great morning actually."

The team exchange glances but don't make comment as Eddie moves to get a cup of coffee for himself and Buck. Just as he's preparing Buck's drink, he hears Buck speak up.

"Hey, Bobby, can I talk to you after lunch? I think there's some paperwork I need to fill out."

His comment makes everyone at the table pause, Eddie glancing up in time to see them looking to Buck with wary expressions, unsure of what exactly Buck could be referring to. He watches as Bobby nods in agreement with Buck's wishes, finishing up their drinks pretty quickly, before the team go back to eating as Eddie joins them again. Sitting in the open seat at the table, between Buck and the Chim, he offers the younger man his thanks when he sees the plate of breakfast Buck put together for him as he puts their drinks down.

Eddie ignores Hen and Chim having a silent argument across the table as he begins eating, Buck's arm coming to rest against the back of his chair as the younger man finishes eating and sits back to sip his coffee. Before Bobby can interject, Chim finally gives in and decides to bite the bullet, asking the question Eddie and Buck both knew was coming.

"So… what's the paperwork for?" He tries to make it sound casual but Eddie has to duck his head to hide his amused smile.

Buck snorts in amusement, shrugging casual as he sips his drink again, looking between Hen, Chim and Bobby's faces. "I thought it was compulsory to fill in the paperwork for HR when you start dating another firefighter."

Eddie rolls his eyes, casually dropping his free arm from the table to squeeze Buck's thigh in warning.

"What?" Hen blurts out, shocked by the admission. 

"Since when were you dating anyone?" Chim sends the blonde an offended look for not telling them sooner.

Buck tips his head, reminiscent of a puppy, as he thinks about it. "Since, like, 20 minutes ago, right?" He nudges Eddie for confirmation.

The older man nods, swallowing a bite of his food. "Around about that."

"That's why you're having such a good morning," Hen realises, pointing between the two of them. "You two finally figured it out."

"Is that why you two took so long to come upstairs?" Chim smirks.

"Again - something like that." Eddie confirms, smiling as Buck winks cheekily at their friend.

"No funny business in the station, or on any calls, and we'll be fine." Bobby interrupts the imminent cheeky exchange between Chim and Buck, making both Eddie and Buck nod in agreement to the terms. "I'll fetch the paperwork in a second, I've already got a batch filled out - it just needs signing and dating."

"Told you." Eddie comments, making his boyfriend laugh.

The blonde's laughter makes the rest of them smile because of his contagious happiness, and Eddie realises that this is exactly what he'd been missing before he got here. A team close enough to be a family and a partner - in more that one way - he can trust that has his back no matter what life throws at them.

In hindsight, he knows he found his forever when he walked into the station on his very first day. He found the home he was searching for, and his home reassures him every day that he's enough. And, after all this time, he finally believes it.


End file.
